i could really move to europe or asia right now.
for example: go to china.
um. yes.
i want to experience a new community.
and a new culture.
it’s not such a distant possibility, either.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponthere has been a lot going through my mind lately. but whenever i sit down to write down my thoughts, i cannot write them down in a way that is worth sharing. so i’ll try again tonight and see what i think of what comes out.
it’s a little bit weird having a full-time career job already and not being in school anymore. part of me wants to take advantage of my early start and part of me wants to run away from it and do something else. not because i dislike what i do, but just because i’m scared of commitment, i think. but i’m not sure what i mean by that. i think it’s probably just because i put a very high value on personal time and exploration and discovery. and having a career can take away from that. it’s not impossible to keep that from happening, but it’s a challenge. this is part of why i haven’t been writing as much as i used to, i think.
i watched ‘moonlight mile’ again last night. then i went up to my rooftop and smoked a clove. then i wrote a long blog about the movie. then i read it again in the morning and disagreed with some of what i said. bottom line, though, is that there are aspects of the 70’s i wish i could’ve experienced. and i know it wasn’t all good. so don’t tell me “oh you have no idea what you’re saying! it was terrible!” blah blah. i’m just talking about certain aspects. some of those being: design, fashion, relationships, music, technology, etc. i also wrote about how much i want to move away just to move away. not move for school. not move for my career. not move for friends or family. just move away somewhere just to live there in a new community of people and scenery.
oh, and alaska is coming to me this summer. via road.
i think i’ll post this one.
goodnight.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponlongwave released a new single called “sirens in the deep sea” a couple weeks ago. i am reminded again why they may be my favorite band of all time. they have these intense moments. however they are one of the least consistently good bands that i listen to regularly. i think it may be because they are still discovering their sound. but some of their songs are those songs that i’ll put on repeat for five days straight. go download it now on longwave’s onlines.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponfriend, what can you say? how did you become so distant? how did i let it happen? did you find out some thing that ended your dreams, or did you decide to just forget it all? can you please just take a moment for thought? clear your mind from your current state. remove the external influence for a time and remember what brings an honest smile to your face. do not run from it. do not keep that moisture from your eyes. please let your life remember. there is something there. i saw it.
you can find it again, friend.
i know you can.
i beg you to try.
remember.
forgive.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponlove.
it is so necessary.
so fundamental.
is love for our creator all that we are made for?
is it good to leave humankind behind to find love for what we have been given?
or does the greatest love come from the moments when happiness is shared?
or loss?
i think there are times when we need to leave humankind and be reminded of who we really are.
and then use whatever we find to come back and love even more.
but maybe we don’t even know what that means.
we can try to begin to, though.
i have become so busy.
i forget about love.
i forget about the people i love.
or maybe i just love being busy.
hmm.
i can’t wait for summer.
this time i’m going to alaska.
driving all 9,000 miles through canada and the wilderness.
i know i talked about tokyo before, and i still plan on going, but i don’t think i’m going this year.
that’s the plan as of right now, anyway.
i want to take more photos of places i’ll probably only see once in my life.
stay warm, friend.
the winter is almost over.
as ready as i am for the spring to come, i still enjoy this time.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponi love remembering.
i just watched ‘finding lost’ again for the first time in awhile. mostly because i was craving a road trip and felt like getting lost a little.
and it was effective.
i can actually reach back and touch those feelings, smells, sights, and sounds when watching all the stop motion happen in front of me.
it’s so easy to become apathetic when i’m stuck in the same place for so long. no matter how much i love it, i always get pulled down to some sort of normalcy and structure.
remembering past times helps to remind me that there are people living completely different lives beyond my view. and it creates new dreams for me to work towards.
without that i get bored. i need it to survive i think.
i’m excited for what’s to come.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponi’m listening to coldplay for the first time in quite sometime.
and i’m writing on this blog for the first time in almost three weeks.
“nobody said it was easy,” says coldplay.
we’re a month into the new year. weird.
this past month i’ve struggled a bit with apathy. i lost some of my usual motivation to get things done and focus on new ideas and work on old ones. i think it may be the season getting to me, but i still enjoy it. i talked to someone last week who said they had never met someone from omaha who genuinely loved the weather here. i told him i did. i love how extreme our seasons are. the harsh cold winters and the blazing hot summers. i love that we get to see that intense change happen every year.
i’ve been to some incredible films this year (and late last year) already. i don’t have time to review them all, but i think you all should be sure to see these five films soon and before you die:
“the diving bell and the butterfly”
“control”
“i’m not there”
“no country for old men”
“there will be blood”
those are in somewhat of a ‘most favorite first’ order. but they are all incredible, and very close.
and my top ten recent music discoveries/rediscoveries:
1. ultra orange & emmanuelle
2. the radio department
3. new young pony club
4. the national
5. joy division
6. death in vegas
7. snowden
8. the rakes
9. spoon
10. the moldy peaches
listen to those groups.
that’s all for now.
happy weekending.
slashdot digg reddit del.icio.us facebook technorati stumbleuponam i running to or from?
whatever it is, can i capture it?
these are selfish reasons.
so should i listen?
i want to see this creation.
i want to experience all these people.
i want to see all these lights.
i’ve lived in nebraska.
i’ve lived in new york city.
i’ve been to san francisco.
i’ve been to many places.
and now tokyo won’t leave my mind.
and the radio department
is shouting with soft distortion,
telling me to go see the city limits.
i continually feel as though i am just inches from discovering something incredible.
a new idea? a direction for my life? how to walk on water?
i don’t know what it is, but i always feel like i am close.
but i can never quite get there.
maybe it’s because it isn’t there.
or maybe i am leaning on my own self too much to get there.
at what point could i make a living exploring the use of film to capture motion without dialogue?
i have these ideas, but i don’t know how to implement them.
i need to buy an ideabook.
i’ll write down all my ideas. and then make sense of them there.
yes.
ok.
goodnight.
not enough time.
there is not enough time.
i apologize for not writing here more often.
i just finished my not-so-little-brother’s senior photos and posted them on my photography site.
i hope you are all having a good winter.
i am.
i am in thought and i’m staring at my wall.
the only light is coming from the inside of an old two-story bin in iceland.
the dryer is working well with the furnace to create an ambient rhythm.
and the cement walls in my room are keeping the frozen earth from falling into my bed.
why am i here?
what am i thinking about?
i cannot find an answer.
i think my mind is off in some distant place.
but i am not sure.
there are a lot of people in this city.
but the water pipes in my room are running.
i think i’d like to go to sweden and listen to their water pipes.
then i’ll go to tokyo and find an elevator that will take me above the city
and i’ll listen to death in vegas and become lost in translation.
what would it be like to smell a sound?
what if i fell asleep and this is not happening?
what does time mean? is there really anything other than now?
why do we always humanize things that are not intended to be?
i wish i could live in black and white for a while.
i want to let go of all these human ideas
and be free from the limits we’ve created for ourselves.
